The Carn Journal

Practical writing for the weeks after a death, and for the years afterwards. What to say, what to keep, and how to gather what people remember before it scatters.

An open memorial book showing a photograph and a short printed tribute

Latest

What to write in a memorial message when you didn't know them well

You worked with him for two years, or you were her neighbour for a decade. You are not family. Here is what to write, and why the small things are the ones worth saying.

Kitty · 11 September 2026 · 3 min read

A family looking at a memorial together

"Sorry for your loss" and what to say instead

The phrase is not wrong, it is just worn smooth. Here is why it lands the way it does, and a handful of things to say that people actually remember.

Kitty · 10 September 2026 · 3 min read

Loose black and white photographs on a wooden table beside a stack of books

How to collect photographs from family before a funeral

You have four days, a slideshow to build, and eleven people who all say they will "have a look tonight". A practical method that gets you the pictures.

Kitty · 9 September 2026 · 4 min read

An open book of memories on a table beside flowers and a small stack of stones

How to ask people for memories without it feeling like homework

Most people want to contribute something and never do, because the ask was too big. Smaller questions get better answers.

Kitty · 8 September 2026 · 3 min read

A phone held in daylight, showing a memorial page

What happens to someone's Facebook, Instagram and Google account when they die

What each platform does, what a family can actually get, and the two things worth doing before you request anything be deleted.

Kitty · 7 September 2026 · 3 min read

A stone cairn against a wide, quiet sky

How to write a eulogy when you're not a writer

You have four minutes, a room full of people and no idea where to start. A method, a shape, and what to do about crying.

Kitty · 6 September 2026 · 3 min read

A funeral director in a dark suit in a quiet room

What to do in the first 48 hours after someone dies

A short, practical list for the UK. What has to happen now, what can wait a fortnight, and the one thing almost everyone forgets.

Kitty · 5 September 2026 · 3 min read

A linen memorial book on a table beside dried flowers and stacked stones

The first birthday after: what families actually do

The date arrives whether you plan for it or not. What other families have found bearable, and permission to do none of it.

Kitty · 4 September 2026 · 3 min read

Three memorial books stacked on a table with loose photographs beside them

Making a memory book: what to include and what to leave out

What goes in a book about someone, what does not, and how to handle the awkward parts: the ex-wife, the estranged brother, the contribution nobody wants printed.

Kitty · 3 September 2026 · 3 min read

A stone cairn on a Welsh hillside under soft grey light

Cairns, carneddau, and the habit of marking a life with stone

Why people have piled stones on hilltops for five thousand years, and why the impulse is the same one behind every memorial.

Kitty · 2 September 2026 · 3 min read

Somewhere for all of it to gather

Carn is a memorial page anyone can add to from their phone, without an account. Free for the first 90 days, because the fortnight after a death is the wrong moment to ask a family for a card.

Create a memorial